Asifinyelele ekujuleni kwengonyuluka ekhuthaza ukubonga
“Ukubonga kungaguqula noma yisiphi isimo. Kuyindlela elula, nesheshayo nenamandla amakhulu yokuletha uguquko empilweni yakho.” Oprah Winfrey
Ziningi izinto abantu abakhuthazana ngazo ukuqinisekisa ukuthi kuyenzeka kuphinde kufezeke abakuhlosile. Namuhla kuzobalulwa amanye amasu angaba yisivande nesikhuthaza-khaba sokusatshalaliswa kokhondolo oluhle lokubonga ezimpilweni zethu. Le nselelo igqolozele othisha nabafundi, abazali nentsha.
Bekufanele sonke siphokophelele ukufinyelela ekujuleni kwengonyuluka yokubonga. Sidinga ukuzinikela ekuqhubekeni nokuthungatha imfihlakalo edephile elele kulamazwi “NGIYABONGA!” Ezwakala sengathi alula kepha aguqula aphinde anothise izimpilo zethu ngokomphefumulo nakomqondo. Ngakho sizocathulisana ngezindlela esingadondolozela ngazo ukuvundisa, sichelele, siphinde sihlakulele lembewu yokubonga. Sifisa ukuyikhulisa siyenze iqhakaze, ifane nomfino othela umliba obanzi njengoba ukubonga sekuya ngokudonda kulezi zinsuku. Sekuyisiqwanga ekukhuliseni kwezingane emindenini, nasemphakathini umuntu usethatha into angazihluphi ngokubonga. Bambalwa abakhangeza ubone izandla ziphelekezelana! Uma singasabongi sehluleka nokukhangeza siluhlobo luni lwezinhlwabuse?
Bekufanele sisungule amaqoqo nezigcawu lapho singabelana ulwazi nobuhlakani ekwaziseni ukuhlale sithi, ‘Ngiyabonga’. Singakwenza lokhu ukuhlomisana ngamakhono ahlukeneyo. Yilapho singazinika khona ithuba elaneleyo lokukhuthazana nokufundisana ngamandla asemfihlakalweni yokubonga. Leli kungaba yishashalazi elibanzi lokucobelelana ngamasu nezindlela ukuqinisekisa ukuthi asiphumi emzileni wokwazisa ukubonga. Ukuhlale sazisa ukubonga kuyayiguqula impilo yomuntu, kusisondeza endleleni ehlukile yokubuka izinto. Kusenza sifane nezimbongolo ezazibhikishela ukudla utshani ebusika ngoba bungeluhlaza futhi bungenamsoco. Babomile bugqwalile. Umninizo waqhamuka nesu kungalindele muntu, wazithengela izibuko eziluhlaza, wazifaka zabubona sebuluhlaza zaqala ukubudla.
Kula maqoqo nezigcawu singabuzana imibuzo efuze lena: Yikuphi okungithele ngezinhloni namuhla ngabona kufanele ukuba ngithandaze ngenhliziyo ngithi, ‘Ngiyabonga!’ Yini emqoka engiyibonile nedinga ukuba ngingakhohlwa ukuthi, ‘Ngiyabonga’ kuleli viki? Yehluke ngani kunokunye engike ngakubonga? Ngubani engicabanga ukuthi kufanele ngimbonge kulenyanga? Uthisha ovele wazinika isikhathi wenaba encazelweni yakhe kulokhu abekufundisa? Umhlengikazi ongiphathe kahle elokhu engiphendula ngohlangothi ngenkathi ngiqunyiswa yizinhlungu?
Umsizi wasekhaya engibuye esepheke ukudla okwehla ngesiphundu njengoba ngibhajwe emzileni sengibuya ngenxa yengozi? Kungaba umqaphi-sango obehlala ezinikela ukuyongithengela iphephandaba ngixinwe umsebenzi ngibhala umbiko wenyanga? Kungabe yisithandwa sami ngenkathi ngingena endlini ngikhala, sangasho lutho, sangiqabula sangesula izinyembezi sathi kuzodlula? Yingane yami engibone yagijima yangifisela usuku oluhle lokuzalwa yathi sengathi ungahlanganisa ikhulu leminyaka? Ucingo engiluthole kumuntu engingamazi engamsiza ngemali elahlekelwe yisikhwama esikhumulweni sezindiza?
Kuleli qoqo elikhuthaza ukuqaphelisisa amandla okubonga singaphinde sibonisane ngabantu abasifundisa ukubonga nsuku-zonke. Omunye ongaba seqhulwini lokwazi kabanzi ngayekulomunxa u-Oprah Winfrey, indlovukazi engumethuli wezinhlelo zezingxoxo kuthelevishini. Singaphinde sabelana izihloko ngesingakucwaninga sibhale ngakho ukukhuthaza lo mkhuba omuhle wokubonga. Singaphinde sicwaninge ngosozigameko bakhe bokubonga. Singabuzana ukuthi yini eyamvula amehlo ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi uhlale ebonga ngisho esesizibeni sezinhlekelele empilweni? Kungani aqoma ukuba nosozigameko wokubonga? Mehluko muni awuqaphelisisa uma esebhala mihla yonke ngezinto azibongayo? Ngaphandle kukaDkt uMaya Angelou owayevame ukuthi kuye “uma sewazi kangcono wenza kangcono” ubani omunye wesifazane owabanothelela omkhulu empilweni yakhe?
Leli qoqo lingahlabela phambili ngoWinfrey ngokudepha ngohlelo lwakhe lwezingxoxo lapho ekhuthaza ukubonga. Kungabukwa lezinhlelo lapho izihambeli zichaza ngezikubhala kosozigameko bazo bokubonga. Kungakhunjuzwana ngabesifazane ababili ahlale exoxa ngabo uma kudingidwa lesihloko. Omunye ngowangqongqa nemoto uJacqui Saburido kepha wasinda. Waquleka izinyanga eziyishumi elele esibhedlela, wahlinzwa izikhathi ezingaphezu kwamashumi amahlanu odokotela bezama ukubuyisela esimeni ubuso bakhe. Wathi akayibambele gqubu insizwa eyamshayisa ngemoto idle amponjwana.
Omunye nguMonica George okwathi eyobeletha wahlaselwa yigciwane elaphetha ngokuba anqunywe izingalo nemilenze.
Esanda kubeletha, kunokuba akhononde, wacela kodokotela ukuba bamdedele ngokushesha ayonakekela izingane zakhe ekhaya. Lawa ngamandla okubonga usezindlawini zochungechunge lwezinselelo ezishaqisayo. Lezi ziwombe ziyihluzo lokuhlunga imicabango yethu njengoba sihlale sitefiswa yizinto ezincane, kepha ababhukudwa bephindelelwa yijozi elibukhali lezinto ezibuhlungu abakhonondi njengathi. Ngisho ukudla kwalo sekubhajwe kwagamanxa esifubeni, kwahlakaza izimbambo, bayaqhubeka babonge! Bathi, “Sibonga isipho sempilo ngaphezu kwakho konke!”