Ukuhlukumeza nokuhlukunyezwa kuwumphumela wokungaziwa

Ukungahlukunyezwa kube ukuvikela kanye nokuvikelwa  komuntu, kwesilwane, kwemvelo, kwezinto kanye nezimo ezibalulekile emhlabeni. Kuyilungelo lokuphila  ukungahlukunyezwa kanye nokuvikelwa. Akekho umuntu okuthandayo ukuhlukunyezwa futhi ongakudingi ukuvikelwa ngoba nawe awukufuni ukuhlukunyezwa kodwa uyakudinga ukuvikelwa ngokwenyama kanye nangokomphefumulo.  Ubani  owafika nokuhlukumeza kobulili ngesankahlu. Pho ubahlukumezelani abanye ube ungakuthandi  kwenzeke kuwena?

Sikhuluma nje akekho ongazibonanga izigameko zokuhlukunyezwa kwabesifazane kanye nezingane eNingizimu Afrika ngesankahlu ngabesilisa. Asazi  futhi ukuthi kuyiqiniso kangakanani ukuthi iNingizimu Afrika seyibalwa namazwe anezibalo eziningi ezinyantisayo zokuhlukunyezwa kwabesifazane nezingane ngesankahlu. Abesifazane abacubungule ezothando bangathatheki ngabokufika, ababajikela esiswini okotshwala babahlukumeze ngezindlela eziningi. Abesifazane nabesilisa bangenelani kwezothando nocansi uma bezohlukumeza, bathethise izingane ngesankahlu. Konke lokhu kwaholela ekusungulweni komthetho ezinkantolo ozovikela abesifazane nezingane noma baboshwe ngamaphoyisa. Nokuyinto enhle kakhulu.

Kwenziwe njani ngabesilisa abahlukunyezwe ngabesifazane ngesankahlu? Kwenziwe njani ngabesilisa abahlekwa ngamaphoyisa uma beyobika izehlo zokuhlukunyezwa ngabesifazane? Kwenziwe njani ngamanye amaphoyisa ashela owesifazane obekade eyovula icala lokuhlukunyezwa? Nokho ayikho impendulo eshaya emhloleni ngokuhlukunyezwa kobulili ngesankahlu.  

Owesilisa nowesifazane oqoqekile ngokwemfundiso nangokwenhlonipho yasekhaya futhi enomgogodla akasibeki nakancane isandla phezu komunye. Kwala esefakwe umunwe esweni  kwaze kwabonwa ngabaningi. Uncamela ukuqhela eduzane naye ukuze kungathiwa uyahlukumeza ngesankahlu.

Nokho zehlukene izenzo zokuhlukumeza  ezenzeka, ezenzekayo nezisazokwenzeka. Ezinye zezehlo ezenzeka ungakabi khona uMthethosisekelo wangowe-1996 nangemuva kwalo nyaka.

Sizocaphuna izenzeko ezimbalwa ezehlukahlukene ezenzeka ezweni nengazibonayo. Ngizozama ukuzibalula noma engasakhumbuleki amanye amagama kodwa angiyena umehluleli kodwa nguMvelinqangi ongumehluleli. 

Kwakusanda kukhululwa iziboshwa zepolitiki kanye nokubuya kwabesekudingisweni ngowe-1990. 

Elinye lamaphephandaba olimi lwesiZulu lashicilela ngomshana owayesezisolile ngokubophisa umalume wakhe ngecala lokumdlwengula. Kwakungemuva kokuba wayehlohlwe yizihlobo ukuba ambophise umalume. Laphinda lashicilela udaba lowesifazane owagwetshwa ngokuhlukumeza ingane yesoka. Wayijova ngegazi elalinengculaza.

Kwakungenkathi kunowesilisa owayesemncane owangenela owesifazane owayesekhulile owayeyokhokha, wakhuzwa. Owesilisa waphendula wathi wayengabonanga. Owesifazane wathi kowesilisa, ukuba wayengabonanga kwakufanele angqubuzeke kuqala ensikeni kasimende eyayisesuphamakethe. Waphendula owesilisa ethi wayesezoxolisa kanjani uma esemthethisa. Wabe esebuza owesifazane ukuthi wayehlulwe yini ukuqala ngokuxolisa. Yanqunywa umlomo kowesilisa.

Kwakungesowesilisa  owayesekhulile owayesesuphamakethe, owakhalima owesifazane osemncane, owayefuna ukungenela kulayini ngowezi-2000. Owesilisa  wakhalima owesifazane ukuba angamngeneli nanokuthi kwakunomthengi owayephambi kwakhe wayengakaqedi ukukhokhela izimpahla. Owesifazane wathi wayengambonanga kulayini. Owesilisa wathi wayewubone kanjani ubhasikidi owawuphansi njengoba wayewuweqile. Owesifazane wathi wayezoxolisa kanjani ngoba wayesethethiswa. Eqinisweni babefanele baqale ngokuxolisa hhayi ukuthi ngangingabonanga noma ngangingakubonanga.

Kuyindelelo nokweswela imfundiso nenhlonipho yasekhaya ukungenela umuntu omfice ephambi kwakho kulayini kodwa ungaxolisi. Ukube owesilisa wayengenayo imfundiso nokuqoqeka, wayezophakamisa isandla. Bese ababengabonanga nababengezwanga bathi kwakuwukuhlukumeza kobulili ngesankahlu. Bagcwaliswe ngokushesha ezinkundleni zokuxhumana bengacakulisisanga ngokwanele.

Sithola owesilisa wasemakhaya owayengusozimali, owaba yisoka waqonywa ngokwedlulele emva kokuba eselobolile. Waliwa ngowesifazane ababe nezingane naye esemlobolile. Kwahluleka esencengwa ngabazali owesifazane wala waphetha ethi izikhathi zazingasefani. Wababonisa ubungozi bokuhlukunyezwa ngokubulili ngesankahlu uma esengunkosikazi ngokuphelele. Kwabanjalo, ngoba owesilisa waqhubeka nokuqonywa waze wahlukumeza ngesankahlu abanye besifazane ayesebalobolile kwaze kwaba kathathu. Wasithola isijeziso ngaphansi komthetho wokuhlukumeza ngokobulili ngesankahlu.

Kuye kuhlaluke ngokuhamba kwesikhathi mayelana nowesilisa nowesifazane ukuthi wayethole owayeyisibusiso, nomqondo, nomoya nezimo ayeyizona, wangabona, wabona ekugcineni. Bese owesilisa noma owesifazane bejeziswa ngabadala basemakubo. Abanye boHlanga abafunde bagogoda ngokwasentshonalanga kusabehlula, basakuphika ngoba basesaba abamhlophe ukuthi bazothi abafundile.

Kuyenzeka obunye ubulili buqhube intwala ngewisa, bube nomlomo onamagama angemahle nsuku zaphuma kobunye ubulili. Bugweme ingxabano nokuhlukumezana obunye ubulili ngazo zonke izindlela bese kubukeka sengathi abulutho. Mhlazane buphakamisa isandla kuyoqhamuka izinkulumo ezithi bungumhlukumezi. Uma kungowesifazane okwenzeka kuyena nsuku zaphuma, kuzothiwa kwahlukunyezwa abesifazane ngesankahlu. Zikhona izithangami zobulili ngabodwana lapho buhlanganisa amakhanda ngenxokonxoko yokuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili ngesankahlu. Ngabe kungcono ukuthi kuyajolozelwa isisusa sokuhlukumeza nokuhlukunyezwa ngesankahlu ngoba kuyenzeka ukuthi kwakuwumlomo owakhuluma amagama ayengafanele ngaphandle kwesizathu.

Muhle umthetho, izinkantolo eziyocubungula, ucwaningisise, ucakulisise, ubhekisise ngesineke umsuka, umnyombo, imbangela, izizathu eziholele ekuhlukunyezweni kobulili ngesankahlu. Bobubili ubulili buyahlukumezana ngesankahlu. Akulungile ukushaya nokubulala noma ngabe isiphi isizathu.