Sibheka ngeso lezenhlalo udlame ngokobulili nokubulawa kwabesifazane

Yini enomthelelela wokubhebhethekisa ngamandla udlame ngokobulili (GBV) nokubulawa kwabesifazane (Femicide) yilabo abanobudlelwane nabo?

Udlame ngokobulili lumayelana nanoma iyiphi indlela yokuhlukumeza umuntu ube usebenzisa ubulili bakhe, lokhu kufaka phakathi ukuhlukunyezwa ngokwezocansi, ukudlwengulwa noma isiphi isenzo sobulili ongasithandi – kungaba ukuthintwa noma ukuxhashazwa kusetshenziswa ezocansi, ukushaywa, ukusetshenziswa kwamazwi ahlukumezayo kuwe, ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomoya nangokomqondo.

Sibonile ukukhuphuka ngokweqile kwezigameko zodlame lwasekhaya oluphakathi kwalabo abasondelene ngoba beyizithandani, lolu dlame luyadlondlobala ngoba nsuku zonke abasifazane bayabulawa, yingakho sinalesi sehlo sokubulawa kwabesifazane ngenxa yokuba abesifazane nje. Lezi zehlo zijwayelekile kakhulu kulobu budlelwano bokuthandana phakathi kwabantu ababili.

Siphinde sibone lo mkhuba osabisayo futhi owenzeka ngendlela ethi ayifanane, lo mkhuba omayelana; nokudlwengulwa, kubulawe, kucwiywe izicubu zomzimba ikakhulukazi kwabesifazane, izingane zamantombazane, nesibalo sezingane zabafana siyakhula naso kulo mkhuba wokuhlukumezeka. Siyisizwe asikaqondisisi kahle ukuthi yini eyenza ukuthi abantu esiphila nabo benze izenzo ezinobuhlungu nesihluku kangaka baze bamhlambalaze umuntu ngisho sebembulele. Kumele kuphenywe ngokukhulu ukushesha, abanye bathi kwenziwa inzondo, ubuthakathi noma iminikelo yobumnyama yobusathane. Eqinisweni esisakwenza kahle ukubabaza lo mkhuba, sikhale, sithukuthele, sishaye udwendwe emigwaqeni sifuna ubulungiswa, silekelele ekubanjweni nasekuboshweni kwezigila mkhuba. Esingakagxili kakhulu ukukwenza ukuqondisisa ukuthi yini lena esibhekene nayo, ngakho sicela abacuphi abaseqophelweni eliphezulu bahlanganyele nabacwaningi bagxile ekutholeni ukuthi ikuphi le mboni okuhanjiswa kuyo lezi zicubu zabantu, ngaziphi izinhloso? Kulo mgudu wokuthengisa obani ongqondongqondo, babanjwe baboshwe. Nathi siwumphakathi sikwazi ukuzizwa siphephile. Asingafaki ibhandishi phezu kwesilonda esinobomvu singahlolisisanga ukuthi sishona kangakanani.

ENingizimu Afrika sinomlando wodlame osuka esimweni sengcindezelo esibuya kuyo ngaphambi kowe-1994, ngiyavumelana nabathi asizange sithole ukwalulekwa ngokwezomoya, nangokomphefumulo, kungenzeka ukuthi lokho kunomthelela kulolu dlame esilubonayo, okunye kunezinga eliphezulu lwendlala, ukucwasana, nokungalingani kwezezimali nomnotho, kanye nokungalingani ngamandla ngokobulili. Ngowezi-2018/2019 siyizwe siye sabona futhi savuma ubucayi bokukhuphuka kwezinga lodlame olungokobulili nokubulawa kwabantu besifazane okuyingcindezi empilweni yalabo abahlukunyezwayo, izingane, imindeni nemiphakathi. Ngokwemibiko yoMnyango Wamaphoyisa mayelana nezibalo zobugebengu kunyakamali wezi-2019/2020 ubugebengu bezocansi bukhuphukile ngama-1.7% ngokwezibalo 873 ngaphezulu konyakamali wezi-2018/19. Abesifazane ababulewe babulewe abathandana nabo bangama-56%. Kumele sikuqonde ukuthi lesi simo sokuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili nokubulawa kwabesifazane nezingane kwenzeka kuzo zonke izifundazwe zezwe lethu. 

Kubalulekile ukuba sisho ukuthi udlame ngokobulili wubugebengu obuqondiswe kubantu futhi ukubulawa kwabesifazane akufanele kwenzeke nhlobo, akekho onelungelo lokulimaza omunye, kangakanani-ke UKUBULALA OWESIFAZANE.

Yini lena ebhebhethekisa udlame ngokobulili nokubulawa kwabesifazane eNingizimu Afrika?

Akesibheke kafushane izimo ezibekwa ngokuba nomthelela kulolu bhubhane okumele sibhekane nazo ngqo, zifaka phakathi:

• Imixhantela nemithelela kanye nemiphumela yodlame esadlula kulo ngezikhathi zengcindezelo yobuhlanga
• Izinga eliphakeme kakhulu lokusetshenziswa kwezidakamizwa nophuzo oludakayo
• Ukuhlakazeka kwesimo semindeni eqinileyo, kweminye imindeni akukho zinhlaka zokusekelana, ukukhulisana, ukulungisana uma uphambuka kanye nokufundisana indlela eyiyo yempilo
• Udlame lusetshenziswa abanye njengendlela yokukhipha intukuthelo engaphakathi noma batshengise ukuthi banamandla angakanani njengabantu besilisa okungakudonsela esimweni sokuba umuntu wesilisa onobudoda obunendlakadla
• Ukungabibikho kwabazali empilweni yabantwana noma bekhona bangabi abazali abaqotho ngenxa yezimo zempilo ezahlukehlukene, lokho kuba nomthelela omkhulu empilweni yabantwana bangatholi lonke uthando nokwalulekwa okuyikho
• Ukuswelakala kwamathuba emisebenzi kungaba nayo imithelela engaholela ekubeni kuqale kube nodlame ngokobulili kweminye imindeni noma kubudlelwano, kodwa lokho akufanele kusetshenziswe njengento yokuvika umkhuba wokuhlukumeza umlingani wakho nomndeni wakho.

Sengizibalile zonke lezi zimo ezingaphezulu esijwayele ukukhuluma ngazo futhi kaninginingi. Asike sibheke lezo esingakhulumi ngazo kakhulu noma esingakhulumi ngazo nhlobo, kaningi siyathalalisa kube ngathi azenzeki, noma sifake ibhandeshi phezu kwazo. Lezi zimo zifaka phakathi izinkambiso eziphambana nokulungileyo futhi ezingakhi ezisezinkolelweni zemindeni nakumasikompilo athize kanye nasezinkolelozeni emiphakathini yethu. Kuba umqansa ukukhuluma ngalezi zimo ngoba isikhathi esiningi abakholelwa kuzo bayazivikela baze banyukelwe umoya kwesinye isikhathi. Okubalulekile wukuthi kesizibhekisise kahle lezi zimo engizozisho ngokwezigaba zazo ukuthi umthelela wazo ungakanani ekubhebhethekiseni udlame lobulili oluze lwasidonsela ensakavukeleni yokubulawa kwabantu besifazane ngenxa yesimo sobumame qha yilabo abathandana nabo. Ezinye zezimo okumele sizifakele izibuko yilezi:

• Ukuba khona kwenqubo nenkolelo emindenini, ezinhlakeni ezithile emphakathini. Le nqubo inikezela wonke amandla kwabesilisa ukuthi kube yibo bodwa abaqhwakela ezihlalweni zokuphatha kwezemiphakathi, imindeni, imisebenzi, kwezenkolo, ezepolitiki. Le nqubo ifana nomdlavuza emindenini nasemiphakathini yethu. Ivimbela amathuba abantu besifazane ukuthi babe nezwi, babambe iqhaza bebambisene ngokuhlanganyela nabesilisa futhi kunehlonipho ukuze kube nobulungiswa bokulingana ngokobulili emikhakheni eyahlukahlukene yempilo
• Imishado engenabo ubulungiswa lapho abantu begcagca ngokucindezelwa abanye bemindeni abanegunya lokuthatha izinqumo bengasabhekeleli ukuhlukumeza kwelungelo lokuzikhethela. Kuyaye kube nzima kakhulu uma lowo oshadiswayo esemncane kakhulu. Eminye yemishado enjalo iba nayo imiphumela engemihle, ukusatshiswa kanye nodlame lobulili
• Isimo sempilo nesithi ‘ngokwesiko’ noma ‘ngokomthetho waleli khaya’ asizikhulumi izindaba zasekamelweni. Lokho kuphoqelela umuntu ohlukunyezwayo ukuba angakhulumi futhi angakwazi ukubikela umndeni noma abomthetho
• Umbono kanye nenkolelo yokuthi; “Asizingeni izindaba zabantu” noma ngabe siyabona omunye uyashaywa, uyathukwa futhi uyahlukunyezwa, usuholele ezimweni ezibuhlungu okungabe sakwazi ukuzigwema uma ngabe sazama ukusiza, nokukhuza
• Ukwakha umkhanya sibe sazi futhi sibonile kodwa singenzi lutho ukulekelela. Sibe sesiqhamuka sesibabaza noma sesishaqekile uma sekukhona obulewe phakathi kwabathandanayo
• Umbono wokuthi abesifazane abasezingeni lobuntombi nabesilisa, amabhungu asengena ebudodeni kumele nakanjani babophe ifindo lomshado uma sebefike ezingeni elithizeni lokukhula, kwezinye izimo lokhu kwenziwa abathize emindenini abafuna ukuhlomula ngokwezimali, izinkomo, noma ukuxhumama ngokobuhlobo naleyo mindeni ethile, kungasabhekwa ukuthi bakulungele yini ukungena kulelo zinga
• Izimo lapho imindeni ingenelela ukuyosiza lapho kukhona ukungezwani noma ukuhlukumezana uthole ukuthi inkulumo ivuna uhlangothi olulodwa iqhubeke ngokucindezela omunye wabalingani, bese bungabibikho ubulungiswa ukuze umndeni ulungisane uxolelane ngokuphelele, welapheke
• Isimo lapho eminye yemindeni ibe imazi umhlukumezi kodwa ihlale imvikela noma uthole besaba ukukhuluma naye bambonise ukuthi akenzi okufanele impilo ivele iqhubeke kungathi akwenzeki lutho
• Ukuphoqelelwa kwabagilwa ukuthi bangayi ukuyovula icala emaphoyiseni uma kwenzeka belivulile kumele liyosulwa
• Isimo somndeni nomphakathi sokungamukeli ukuthi abesilisa nabo bayabhekana nodlame ngokobulili nokuhlukumezeka ebudlelwaneni nasemindenini futhi kumele bakwazi ukuyobika emndenini nasemaphoyiseni ngaphandle kokucwaswa nokuhlekwa

Ukukhulisa abesilisa

Ake sibuke okumbalwa okumayelana nezinto esizishoyo futhi sizigxilise ezingqondweni zezingane ezingabafana nxa sizikhulisa ukuya ebudodeni. Lezi zinto zingaba nomthelela ongalungile, izinto ezinjengokuthi:

• Umfana noma indoda ayikhali, umnqolo ogombotsheni, batshelwa ukuthi utshengisa ukuba buthakathaka
• Abafana nabesilisa akumele noma akulungile bakhulume ngemizwa yabo, ngezinto ezibakhinyabezayo empilweni futhi batshengise isimo sokungazizwa kahle esenza bazizwe bebuthakathaka uma bezama ukwenza konke engikubalile futhi okuyimvelo yokuhlanza umoya, umphefumulo nengqondo yakho, babe sebebizwa ngamagama anokucwasa, bahlekwe abakwabo, abazwana nabo, abazali kanye nabangani.
• Isimo nenkolelo yokuthi owesilisa akakwazi ukulawula intukuthelo yakhe noma akakwazi ukulawula imizwa yakhe.
• Umbono nenkolelo yokuthi umsebenzi wowesilisa kuphela ukuhamba ayosebenza, enze imali, ondle umndeni, akumele azihluphe ngokwasendlini kanye nokukhuliswa kwezingane.

Lezi zindlela nezinye engingazibalanga zokukhulisa abantwana babafana kumele sike sisondele kakhulu kuzo sihlolisise ubungozi bazo kubudoda esibudingayo ekwakheni imindeni ebumbene nenempilo. Kungenzeka kube nemiphumela yokuthi nxa sebengamadoda bangabi nabo ubuhlakani bokubhekana nokulawula imizwa yabo futhi abanye baholeleke ebudodeni obunendlakadla nobunganazwelo. Le ndlela nale nkolelo iphambana nenqubo yendalo yawo wonke umuntu ekubeka ngokusobala ukuthi umuntu uyinhlanganisela ikakhulukazi yezinto ezintathu okuwu: mzimba, umoya, umphefumulo. Lokhu kungenza abafana abancane noma abasezingeni lobudoda yiliphi izwi abalilalelayo ukubafundisa ukuthi buyini ubudoda, uziphatha kanjani uma uyindoda ebudlelwaneni, emindenini nasemphakathini. Ubani onezwi lokugcina engqondweni nasenhliziyweni yakho ngaphambi kokuthatha isinyathelo noma isinqumo esimweni osuke ubhekane naso?

Singabazali nomphakathi kufanele sike sizinike isikhathi sokujula ngalezi zindlela zokukhulisa abantwana abangabafana ukuya ebudodeni, sivume lapho kungahambi kahle khona, sizame ngamandla onke ukuguqula izinto ikakhulukazi ezivimbela abantwana babafana ukukhula nokukwazi ukubhekana nezingqinamba ngakwezomphefulo, kwezomoya, kwezempilo, kanye nezimo ezibanga ukhwantalala. Kumele sibe nabafana namadoda anokuxhumana okuphilayo ngakwezomoya ngabe okwezenkolo ngokwendalo noma ngokwesintu.

Ukukhulisa abesifazane

Ngokumayelena namantombazane nabantu besifazane, kunezimo nezinkolelo esinazo nesikwenzayo emindenini nasemphakathini okunemithelela yokuletha imiphumela engemihle.Nazi izinto ezimbalwa esingazibheka:

• Umbono noma inkolelo yokuthi amantombazane odwa okumele aqeqeshelwe umsebenzi wokunakekela abantu, umsebenzi wasendlini nokukhulisa abantwana
• Imibono nezinkolelo zokuthi amantombazane okumele aqeqeshwe, alolongwe futhi alungiselwe umshado nokushadiswa, kuncishiswe amathuba okufundela umsebenzi namakhono kulaba besifazane, iqiniso elimsulwa ziyenzeka lezi zinto nalapha eNingizimu Afrika
• Kweminye yemindeni kunemithelela emibi eyenziwa isimo sokusekela nokugqugquzela ubudlelwane phakathi kwamantombazane amancane nabesilisa abadala obufaka phakathi ukuthola ucansi komdala (owesilisa), omncane wesifazane anikwe imali, athengelwe ukudla nezipho nokunye. Le ndlela ingase iholele ekulawulweni nasekuhlukunyezweni kwalona wesifazane osemncane nokufa uqobo. Ngiyacela kubazali nasemphakathini ukuthi singadikibali emadodakazini ethu asebudlelwaneni obunobungozi nabantu besilisa abadala obufaka ucansi, imali, izipho nokunye, asithole izindlela zokubasiza, injobo ithungelwa ebandla!

Ukuvikela ukubhebhetheka kodlame 

• Asingabi ababukeli, akube khona esikwenzayo singumndeni, singabangani nomphakathi
• Khuluma ngalolu dlame kubantu abaseduze nochitha nabo isikhathi esiningi
• Asiphikisane nodlame ngokobulili akukhathalekile ukuthi lwenziwa owesilisa noma owesifazane
• Asigqugquzele ukuba labo abahlukunyeziwe ukuba bavule icala, balashwe ngokomphefumulo, bavikeleke, bangahlukumezeki okwesibili emindenini nasezikhungweni zikaHulumeni okumele zisize
• Akufanele sicashise abantwana bethu, bakwethu nabangani abahlukumeza ozakwabo asibakhuze sibabonise, sibaphoqelele ukubhekana nengalo yomthetho nokuthola usizo ukuze bakhiphe umoya wentukuthelo nodlame kubona futhi bangaphili impilo yokuhlala bevikela izenzo zabo eziphambene nokulungileyo
• Kumele siziqhelelanise nemibono nezinkambiso ezingakhi nezibeka abantu besifazane njengabuthakathaka abadinga ukuqeqeshwa nokulawulwa nokuthi ukuba yindoda emadodeni ukubonisa ngamandla onawo okulawula abanye
• Kufanele sakhe imigudu nezikhungo lapho abantwana bethu babafana namadoda bengathola khona ithuba lokukwazi ukukhuluma ngokubakhathazayo emiphefumulweni nasengqondweni.
• Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi kufundiswe izinsizwa nabesilisa abangaqondisisi ukuthi uma okade eshelwa esevuma ethi: “Ngiyakuthanda nami”, lokho kusuke kungasho ukuthi sebuphelile ububona njengabantu abanamalungelo ukuthi cha no yebo kuyo yonke into eyenzeka kubudlelwane benu
• Izintombi ezisencane kumele zifundiswe ngobungozi bokuhehwa imali esheshayo okungesiyo eyakho nezethembiso zempilo emnandi lapho bona benganamnikelo kuyo, lezo zimo zingabaholela engcupheni yokuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili nokubulawa 
• Kubalulekile kakhulu kwabesifazane ukuqonda ukuthi lo mkhankaso wokulwisana nesihlava sodlame ngokobulili, nokubulawa kwabesifazane umongo wayo ubhekane nokuthi abantu besifazane bahlonishwe, bavikelwe, bathole amalungelo afanayo kuyo yonke imikhakha yempilo. Kufanele sikuqonde ukuthi inhloso yemikhankaso yesizwe sonke akumayelana nokuzonda amadoda kodwa kumayelana nokungahambisani nodlame nokuhlukunyezwa kanye nokubulawa kwabesifazane nezingane

Izinsiza zokulekelela nokusiza izisulu  

• Nikezela ngesikhathi sakho kumngani, ingane yakwenu, kulungu lomndeni noma lomphakathi elisesimweni sokuhlukumezeka, ulalele, usize futhi umedlulisele kulabo abawufundele lo msebenzi
• Dawewethu, mama, gogo, mfowethu, bantwana bethu ngiyazi kunzima ukuvele ubhoboke ukhulume ngalezi zigameko zokuhlukunyezwa, sicela ningafeli phakathi, ziningi izindlela ongenza ngazo bhala incwadi, umlayezo womqhafazo ocingweni lwakho, qopha umlayezo ocingweni uthumele labo obathembayo bakusize
• Asibe namathimba eduze kwamakhaya ethu azobikelwa uma kukhona isimo ukuze alethe usizo ngokuphuthuma futhi afundise abantu, imindeni nomphakathi ukuthi sivike lolu dlame
• Asibe nezindawo lapho abantu besilisa /amadoda abazizwa benengcindezi yezimo ezithile bakwazi ukuyozethula bebe besekelwa futhi bavikeleke
• Msize umuntu obhekene nodlame nokuhlukumezeka ukuba afake isicelo sokuvikelwa kumhlukumezi emaphoyiseni nasenkantolo

UMnyango Wamaphoyisa kumele usebenze ngokuzikhandla ukusiza abagilwa bodlame nokuhlunyezwa, ube namagumbi acashile navikelekile lapho kuzobuzwa khona imibuzo futhi kusekelwe kuvikelwe isithunzi salowo ozobika isigameko noma ovula icala. UMnyango Wezobulungiswa ake uqinise izinsika zawo ukuze amacala asheshe angene singalindi iminyaka ukuthola ubulungiswa. UMnyango Wokuhlumelelisa Izimilo kumele uhlinzekwe ngabacwaningi ukuze kwenziwe ucwaningo olunzulu nalabo ababoshelwe udlame olususelwa kubulili nabathathe imiphefumulo yababezwana nabo, kungenwe kugxilwe ukuze sikwazi ukuhlaziya lezi zenzo nokusungula izinsiza kuvikela kubantu uqobo, emindenini nasemphakathini.

Uma singasukumi sibhukule silwisane nalolu dlame ngokobulili nokubulawa kwabesifazane oseluyinsakavukela futhi uma lwenzeka, lwenzeka phambi kwabantwana, nathi siyoba necala lokungenzi lutho futhi sizoba nesandla kungcindezi ezobhekana nezizukulwane okuyomele bakhokhe ngokuhlushwa yimicabango nemibonakaliso yodlame ezobe ihleli ezingqondweni nasemiphefumulweni yabo. Kuyimanje kuningi esesikukhokhela:

• Izinsiza zokusiza ngokwengqondo nangokomphefumulo izingane ezikhulela emakhaya anodlame noma aye nodlame ngokobulili phakathi kwabazali babo khathi bekhula
• Imiphumela yokukhula nokuphila ngaphansi kwesimo sodlame sekwenze abanye abantwana bangena kulo mhhume wokuba abahlukumezi 
• Ukuqhubeka kwalolu dlame ngokobulili sekwakhe isizukulwane esihlukumezekile ngezindlela eziningi osekwenza lesi simo sokuhlukumeza siziphinda phinde kweminye imindeni
• Isibalo sabantwana abakhula ngaphandle komama nobaba abangasekho noma abasemajele beboshiwe siyakhuphuka ngamandla. Lokho kubiza ukuthi imindeni, imiphakathi noHulumeni bangenelele ekukhulisweni kwalezo zingane

Asisukumeni bakwethu sisebenza ngamandla, nangobuhlakani esibuphiwe umdali wethu, sisebenzele ukususa lokhuhlukumeza nodlame olususelwa kubulili nokubulawa kwabesifazane, izingane kanye nabesilisa.